Marco Cruz, Ted Rubio, Old Tires, and Other Useless Things

(Disqus comments inside)

Yay! So the other day Ted Rubio announced that he was running for president! This comes on the heels of Marco Cruz announcing the same thing. So it looks like the Republican Party is getting nice and full. This should be exciting. I wish Ted Rubio well and I hope that he kills it in the Republican Primary. A Ted Rubio or Marco Cruz victory would all but ensure another eight years of Hillary Clinton, whom I believe is the best presidential candidate (although as a Feminist I will at least consider what Jeb Bush has to say).

But I want to talk about why I am so pumped about Marco Cruz and Ted Rubio. These guys are great! Both are Tea Party cranks, both believe in the RIDICULOUS idea that they have the right to tell me what to do with MY vagina, and both, hilariously so, are against Amnesty!

The irony in that! Haaahahaha. But really, it's not ironic at all. And the fact that both Marco Cruz and Ted Rubio even GOT promoted by the Republican Party is just PATHETIC. 

Let's cut the crap for a minute here. The Republicans have a diversity PROBLEM. As America becomes less and less white, which is a good thing, the Party of Racism has less and less a chance of winning. 

Marco Cruz and Ted Rubio is the Republican Party's response to this, and it is PATHETIC. I mean, look at these two guys. They don't LOOK like the Culturally Rich Latinos that I see on a daily basis. They're white-washed as all get out! You really think these WHITE FACES with Spanish names are really going to resonate with the Culturally Rich Latino vote?! Especially when these two CHUCKLEHEADS are against Amnesty?! Try AGAIN.

Here's why Marco Cruz and Ted Rubio are going to LOSE against Hillary Clinton:

(1) The Culturally Rich Latinos are all going to break for the Democrats. Why? Because the Democrats care about their family members. The Democrats want to help them provide access to America. Democrats such as Luis Gutierrez are the real deal, and he is with Hillary all the way. 

(2) The Blacks will vote Democrat NO MATTER WHAT. I mean heck. Black unemployment has skyrocketed under Obama and has stayed sky-high for the eight years of his tenure. Yet, the Blacks will STILL vote democrat, because Blacks understand what really matters in their everyday lives, and that is GETTING WHITE PEOPLE. You can COUNT on the black vote for Hillary. 

(3) Millennials! I can't stress this enough. We Millennials are an EMPOWERED generation that does NOT accept half-measures of equality. When businesses decide to express an incorrect opinion, we Millennials work to get them fired or have their business shut down. High unemployment among Millennials? Nice try. We aren't concerned. What concerns US are Student Loan Forgiveness, Free Healthcare and LGBT RIGHTS. And the Democrats will deliver. As for this Marco Cruz crap, forget it. Nice TRY. Who needs a job when I can get free birth control? 

So I hope you now understand why Marco Cruz and Ted Rubio are just a couple of pool cleaners and always will be. I truly hope these two chuckleheads win the nomination because Hillary Clinton will CRUSH them. As long as we just keep Rand Paul OUT.